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Feminine versus masculine presentation is a complex issue within the Black queer women’s community.
There are so many different labels—such as femme, high femme, soft femme, stem, butch, stud, dom, boi, to name a few—that sometimes it may seem overwhelming.
I still slip up sometimes and have to check myself on the gender roles I assign to others, but I’ve found that the less restrictions I place on others the happier and content I can be in my own identity.
Olivia Smarr is a proud Stanford University graduate and a native of the Washington, DC area.
Saying femmes shouldn’t date other femmes because it ‘just isn’t right’ is very similar to the criticism that we receive from heterosexual people that two women shouldn’t date each other, period.
That some people perceive two feminine women dating each other as ‘unnatural’ is just another example of how femininity is demonized and marginalized in society.
She is interested in the intersections of faith, sexuality, and feminism, and is also a lover of Black womanist and queer literature.
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TITLE: Side Chick Blues AUTHOR: María Lapachet AUTHOR URL: Butch/Femme Erotica PUBLISHER: Cordoba Books EXCERPT RATING: MA DESCRIPTION: María Lapachet's poetry chapbook “Side Chick Blues” cuts like a grainy 16mm short film of ferocious need and burning love doused in a hot tub of fresh blood, yet breathing loud. Continue reading Dear butches who ask femmes out on dates using the word “date,” touch base during the week/days prior to the date, plan a great evening and dress accordingly, are on time or give us a heads up if you get stuck in traffic, pick us up from home or the subway entrance (sometimes with flowers, … There's absolutely nothing that a little prosecco, some Adele, and the right stone butch can't fix.
Femmes have been known to bait traps with cleavage, stilettos, and baked goods.
When asked out on a date, I like hearing the word "date" and I love it coming from someone who is not black-out drunk.
A question I know that many of us femme queer women have to answer all the time is: “Why would you date a woman who dresses like a man when you could just date a man?
” It’s annoying and frustrating to be asked this repeatedly by family members, acquaintances, and random people you meet who feel like they have a right to interrogate your sexual identity. Connect with other single lesbians in Stem with Mingle2's free Stem lesbian personal ads.
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